4/01/2006

It is entirely too hot these days. I don't know what can be done about it but it seems to me that someone somewhere ought to get off their lazy chunk and fix the problem. Maybe there's a wire that needs to be hooked up, or a tube that's come loose. All I know is that it's too hot.

Heat is relative, of course; ask any two people on the street what temperature it is and like as not they will both beat you to death with polo mallets. This is just the sort of thing that we as a country and indeed as a planet need to avoid if we're ever going to tackle the problem of things being unseasonably warm. I mean, people with croquet mallets are one thing, but polo is an entirely different sport. I don't know whether the two were once one, but they are certainly now too, and there's no getting around that no matter how much you whine and curse. Frankly the whole thing is just ridiculous, grown men and women prancing around whining and cursing just because two perfectly civilized sports happen to share similar implements of destruction. It's enough to make one doubt the existence of the Almighty.

Well, Almighty or not, one thing is clear and that is that we must all band together in these times of trial and woe otherwise we'll fall easy prey to polo-mallet-wielding maniacs the world over. It's not enough to want to express solidarity; you've got to express it. It's that way with a lot of things: love, joy, having Bingo, creating a completely revolutionary source of cold fusion, and so on. If we didn't express things regularly, I maintain that we'd quite quickly go quietly insane, forever doomed to walk the halls of some lonesome mental institution, probably muttering to ourselves. That's all well and good for some people, but others of us must stay sane so we can deal with the problems facing the world today, one of which is the fact that it has been and remains entirely too hot of late.

And don't you forget it.